Monday, March 22, 2010

Writers Block 1

This is for when I have nothing to write about I'll take a few pages outta my writing book. By the way, yesterday was my b-day and my computer has like 34 viruses on it so I ont be able to do alot cause the Library is lame. I've been writting in thi book since high school, so alot of stuff is old.

This excerpt from page 59 is called Strife & Apathy. This was probably back in Sophmore or Junior year when I wrote this. Hell it might even be Freshman year. Back when I was dpressed and everything. Main reason is ever since leaving elementary, I pretty much had no friends or anything like that. I was also getting out more and venturing into the city more seeing more things I wanted. But thats another entry. Or it will be if I'm reminded by any of the readers I don't have.

Strife & Apathy
People I thought where friends one whom I care for deeply do me wrong. "Childish?!" I'm probably going sane in a crazy world(Thanks for that one, Tick.). I call them my friends but hanging out with them, I'm trully alone. No way in fucking hell, will I'll ever be able to confide in them. I'm human, we are sopossed to be social creatures. Maybe it's better to have not said anything hurtfull to me personally. Seeing they have to face me but not desiring to speak unles spoken to or finding excuses to complain. Hmmm, guessing they think I have a problem. Maybe so; seeing if one has a life like this one here, then yes. Eccentric fuck, wierd along with a desire not to be alone. I understand church atleast partly; a physical form of hope, praying for a better place to be. Praying theres a higher being who makes it better, praying for bliss. Lifes an enescapable atrocity.

The piece of knowledge I'd gotten on the way home sunday night nearly sent me into a depreseed state. People I'm happy to see. There is no apology. There is strife. I can't look at them, although I have to face them. Ranting over this seems selfabsessed but for me, someone who can't be alone it's a problem that easilly causes depression. Something went wrong.

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