Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Reality Sucks

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. The actual meaning is that of what you want is not always as good as what you had. I beg to fuckin differ. I don't know what it is(I do) but ever since I was a kid I always day dreamed about being a character on whatever show I liked to watch. Id rather be a character on a show than the kid/man beinf the Jax. When I was naive an believing god I used to say when i was my time to be back, I'd rather be a character on the Tenchi Series. I don't know what it is but everything seems to be easier to do, goals achieved and dreams followed. I day dream myself to sleep and when I dream most of the time it's like I'm waking up. Why? Because alot of them focus on my life in this alteranate dream Louisville.

I think I've talked about my obsession with the show Daria. The state I was in a few years back when I got the DVD box set and finished watching it. How much  wished I was a character on there(And still do) and got to get with her. Some of you might not know the show, And of those who did but didn't like it-you didn't watch it enough. To see the character development. Daria was sorta a late bloomer and I don't think even Jane undestood it very well. Anyway, I felt like I understood her more than anyone else. I started writing a fan fiction about her in college where we meet. I can't find it. Never the less even if not much ever happens in Lawndale aside from the physical interpertations of holidays I'd be fine at the bar or club listening to Mystic Spiral. Eating pizza and chasing people off with dry sarcasm. Despite having a family and all that good stuff, I just don't think I belong here. Nor do I want to. Hell I even caught myself trying to put myself in the Scott Pilgrim manga.

It's not that my life is stressfull, or anything. Aside from the fact Ican't find a damn job. But I think the desire to have friends is a part of it. I just don't want to be here.  I don't really know what to say...  

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