Zerophilia: Moving On

  Jumper plays on the radio this afternoon as I lay in my bed. I have an extra eighty-five bucks to spend.It's like one o'clock so I throw my clothes back on and figure I'll treat my self and get my bike fixed up some. about two days ago I stripped it down to have the frame powder coated. A lot of the parts on it are black and I bought some more and found some more black parts. I checked my email and got an email from that message board I joined for that Zerophilia movie. I dunno, I was accepted after my... background check? Deal with that shit later. I gotta bike to deal with.

  Half way to the bike shop downtown, I get a phone call. "Whassup? You got the Jax."

  "I'm sorry. I thought this was Kiva's number, my bad." Said Nikki.

  "Nikki? What do you want?" I asked.

  "How do you know me? Are you a friend of Kiva?" Wondered Nikki.

  "I am Kiva, remember? What you want girl?" I scorned.

  "I gotta see you, we gotta talk. Where you at?" Nikki said frightened.

  "Look, I'm at, well on my way to take my bike to the shop downtown. I can't talk, smoke and push this bike down the street. Call me..." I said.

  "I'll be there. Your mom said you wasn't at home. Nice house by the way, all the junk was organized pretty well." Nikki said hanging up.

  So I'm standing here in this bike shop waiting for the powder coating to be finished when I hear the door. I look to see and some guy strolls in with a fixie. Nikki comes in behind him, looking around like some lost child in hopes of finding me. She looked like she was crying, I had had enough of that. God damn I want her still.

  "Is there a guy named Jax here? Please, I need him, where is he?" She sounded worried. "He promised he'd be here!"

  She started walking towards the counter. I told the guy at the counter I'd be back for my bike  soon. When she walked to the counter I hugged her. "I missed you Nikki." We walked outside and I lit up a smoke.

  "Look, I don't know what you are. I googled your so-called disease and got a lot of that movie we watched. I want a better explanation about it.What are you? Tell me." Explained Nikki.

  "Look, I told you. I'm a zerophiliac. I didn't know it till like a few weeks ago when I decided to stop taking this medication that was stopping the ability. I wouldn't call it a disease but ah dunno. I been getting help from the psychiatrist that had prescribed the medication. No my mama don't know about me not taking it either." I explained.

  "Why didn't you tell me. at first? I felt like I loved you and then you start growing a dick. That shit freaked me the fuck out. I'm a lesbian, I don't want dick near my pussy." Said Nikki.

  "I know that we are to be kept somewhat a secret from the public by the government. I know that if I told you I was, you would probably think I was weird or something. Any way I tried to tell you when we was watching the movie and I wasn't purposefully trying to stick my dick in you. My psychiatrist  said I was goin through another puberty. I was stuck like that till it was over and now I can turn either way.

"It's still fuckin weird. I really don't know how hard it would be to deal with it. I couldn't tell you as much as you could explain this thing to me. I've cried, I still love Kiva-you Jax, I'm not even sure I even know you and I feel like this." Nikki told me.

  "It's like this; the only thing that changes is my appearance. My brain pretty much stays the same aside from a few girly mental things, Some feminine things get leftover and some masculine things get left over. My first time out as Kiva, I almost got raped he was stronger than me till I remembered I know mixed martial arts. Got away with only a headache from being drug up some steps by my hair." I said.

  "It's more the lie or secret than anything else. I can handle weird crazy shit more than you think." Said Nikki taking a puff off the cig I just lit.

  "Follow me tot his gas station down there. I wanna show you something." I told her.

  We went to the gas station and I went in to the bathroom and got Nikki to go in. I stripped my clothes off and she stood there staring at my body. "No wonder your clit is so big." she said. I smiled and changed myself to Kiva while talking to her. "I told you this is real, I can go either way and am willing to stay this way outside of home and my family for you, if you give me another chance." I tone changingly spoke. She watched me  go from Jax to Kiva as we both started to cry. "I don't know, I could get to know you. I would never tell you I love you if I didn't. We're gonna need to take some time." She said through the tears. I changed back and we walked back to the bike shop. I  got my frame and we went our separate ways.

  when I got home I finished checking my email. I went to that zerophilia movie forum and read my welcome message:

Welcome to the home of the Zerophilia the movie fansite. This site is for true Zerophiliacs and going through your background check you are a true zerophiliac and almost all your answers will be found here. And if you wanna talk about the movie- well that's fine too. Sir/Ma'am welcome and enjoy your stay.

   Hiding in plain sight was everything I was looking for. Maybe now I'll be able to better explain to Nikki and save our relationship.